When some people think of the Christmas Star, they think of the star the wise men followed in Bethlehem. But in our family, the Christmas Star has other meanings. I won't tease my brother further today, so will skip along to the most recent meaning of "The Christmas Star." The star my niece Jaycena made when she was just a little girl. My sister has the original, but she made me a photocopy a few years back, and nothing else will ever top my tree. My mom has one too.
Jaycena was always artistic. and like all artists, she had her dark period. So in her wisdom, the Christmas Star has a happy face on one side...and a sad face on the other so you can spin it around in case you are in a mad mood. Genius!
Christmas is always a hard time for us without her. We had 16 Christmases where we all wanted to be the one to give the gift she would love most...16 years of delighting her opening presents and playing with toys. 16 years of memories...it seems impossible that those are supposed to last a lifetime. Every Christmas I wonder what she would love now...where she would be...what day she would make it home. Tortured questions that get harder to guess the answers to each year. She would be beautiful. She would be smiling. We would all be so different...we would be who we were before. My Christmas Star reminds me of those days, being that girl. It's a bittersweet thing. But I love that little Star watching over my Christmas. Merry Christmas in heaven Jaycena. Love you today, forever, and always <3