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Thursday, July 24, 2014

All the Bells and Whistles

I should have chosen my words more carefully when I said I wanted to do EVERYTHING in Bermuda that I hadn't done before earlier in the year.  Because not all of the common experiences people have here are sunny days on beaches.  In particular, one thing one does NOT want to do is have a scooter injury.  We have great orthopedic services on the island, either because we really need those guys, or because they get a lot of practice.

I have always prided myself on being an excellent scooter driver.  I have had some near misses but with defensive driving and some pretty savvy balance moves I have come out unscathed.  I even stayed upright on a hill in the rain through an out of control 180 -- caused because the driver in front of me came to a dead stop in traffic in bad conditions because he knew the driver going the other way and nailed the brakes to say "hey hey" as drivers commonly do here. To be fair, you never make a day without having to drive around a dozen cars randomly parked or stopped in the road because it's convenient for the driver to not have to use a parking lot, or they just want to wait for someone, or have a chat with someone else.  But, I have successfully avoided them all!

And then yesterday, getting ready to fly my Lexi cat to Canada, I was running errands at 8:30 am in morning traffic.  I was ready for whatever the other driver's had in store for me.  What I was not ready for was irresponsible pet ownership.  A tiny little dog trotted into traffic right in front of me.  He was one of those little things that best belong in purses, or maybe a cutesy photo in a hot dog bun or a smoothy cup.  I think "rat terrier" crossed my mind.  I braked as hard as I could, felt the bike going out of control, and time stopped for a second in my head.  I knew I could recover if I released the brakes and kept the wheel straight.  I could also see the center of the little dog lined up with the center of the wheel, still in mid trot, eyes set on the other side of the road, completely oblivious to what was coming.  "If I run over him I won't go down," I thought.  Quickly followed by "I just can't."  I am not exactly sure what move I went for in the next split second, but the end result was me in the road, leg under the bike, and a lot of pain in the knee and ankle.  The traffic behind me was fast on their cell phones, and 2 gentlemen lifted the bike off me and pulled it to the roadside.  My first discernible words while in the fetal position cradling my bad knee from volleyball were "Did the dog make it?"  "Oh yeah, he ran up the alley, his owner came and got him."  By then there was a firetruck with all lights blazing, a police officer directing traffic, and an ambulance.  I tried to decline medical assistance, but that requires signing release forms, etc, and to be honest, by then the adrenaline had worn off and the pain kicked in at a pretty high level and I couldn't hold out any longer.  So into the ambulance I went, and as all good EMT's do, they asked nicely if they could cut my favorite jeans.  I guess I will be shopping soon.

The good part about working in the hospital is you get visitors quickly.  The EMT's were awesome, and came with a good shoulder pat since there was no ibuprofen allowed until after a doctor sees you, but they offered a phone call.  So at least they were able to call my former coworkers who could deliver a hug and  cup of coffee -- thanks Sakina, Kamala, and Helen (although one of them was a little worried I may have lost my fresh baked cookies for the lab on the road....you know who you are Helen!)  Doctor "Pete" was fabulous, but he gave me that disconcerted look that everyone gives me when I know their names and they find me unrecognizable outside of my scrubs and a pony tail.  He was great though, and radiology did quick and speedy work as well -- thanks Craig, for the mandatory X-Ray and the voluntary visit.  And thank you unidentified nurse who brought the pain meds.  It was a little weird to be stuck in a room for 4 hours with a TV, no remote, and therefore non-stop Sesame Street, but at least Steve Carroll and Sarah Jessica Parker were on.  Not sure Sarah Jessica Parker talking about "Big" with Super Grover is a crossover of worlds that should ever happen though.

After that, I hailed a taxi and asked him to stop at the bike so I could lock it up.  He drove me the two blocks and said...."Why don't you just drive it home?"  Well, I thought, I can't actually bend my leg and I have a cane....but I have indeed seen stranger things go down the road, like the guy riding side saddle carrying a 6 foot Christmas tree and smoking while scooting, or the guy with a backpack with his crutches inside sticking 3 feet into the air, so I took his advice, hung the cane from the handlebars, and scooted home with one straight leg.  I feel almost Bermudian now.

I did however park it at home and get a ride to my going away lunch with another friend, and hobbled into Mickey's for one last good chat with good friend ocean side.  Helen was kind enough to come over after her shift and retrieve the work cookies, because I was not going anywhere after that, so I hope there were a few chocolate treats for everyone today at work.

Leave it to me to get all the bells and whistles before heading out.  Thanks KEMH, EMS, BPS, and Bermuda Fire for the lights and good handling!

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